When (and how) to have 'the talk' about Santa - KATV - Breaking News, Weather and Razorback Sports

This Christmas Eve, will your children prepare a plate of cookies and a glass of milk for Santa? Will they have trouble falling asleep because they're so excited about his arrival? Or is Santa absent from your holiday celebration?

Some parents feel that believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy is bad for kids. Others believe in encouraging their imaginations and letting kids be kids for as long as possible.

If you're debating what to tell your child, consider the following.

The benefits of believing

• Fantasy is an important part of your child's psychological development. Whether it relates to Santa Claus, fairies, unicorns, or leprechauns, it allows kids to imagine, explore, and solve problems.
• Santa and other imaginary characters are seen as symbols of goodness and generosity. Through them, kids learn the joy of giving. As an example, children often include wishes for someone less fortunate in their letters to Santa.
• You can relive the magic of your own childhood through your child's eyes. A child's belief in Santa or the Easter Bunny is exciting for the whole family.
• When your child starts to question the notion of these imaginary figures, he or she has reached a developmental milestone. This means your child's way of thinking is maturing.

The drawbacks
Some parents and psychologists feel that:

• Believing in Santa makes children materialistic and detracts from the true meaning of the season.
• Believing in imaginary characters sets kids up for disappointment when they find out the truth.
• Promoting Santa and other imaginary characters is a threat to your child's trust - one that he or she may hold against you later.
• Children are motivated by fear- or behave well - because "Santa is watching."
• Many children fear the idea of a stranger coming into their home while they're sleeping.

What not to do
Although you may want to give your children cherished memories, be careful not to push too hard. Show respect to your child by keeping your own feelings in check.

Here are things you shouldn't do:

• Don't force your child to sit on Santa's lap. Many children love Santa from a distance but are frightened when facing him in the shopping mall. Don't chide your child or express disappointment if he or she won't cooperate.
• Don't tell kids Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy is watching them. This can make children uneasy and afraid. Remember that these characters are meant to be benign and caring, not intimidating.
• Don't imply that Santa will pass by your house or leave coal in your child's stocking as a punishment for misbehaving. Using Santa as a disciplinarian can diminish the magic that he is meant to create.

When the truth comes out
Sometime around the age of 7, children start to ask questions. How does Santa get into your home if you don't have a chimney? How does he get to every house in the world in one night? And how does the Tooth Fairy know you lost a tooth?

Some kids want to keep believing, even though they know deep down that there is no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. Others want you to confirm their doubts.

Experts suggest asking your children about their beliefs and uncertainties before answering any questions. Take his or her lead. If your child doubts Santa's existence, don't try to talk him or her into believing. Explain that Santa is a symbol of hope and generosity whose purpose is to bring joy to children and others.

Studies show that children react more positively than parents do when they learn the truth about Santa and other characters. It is often harder for parents to see this stage of their child's life come to an end.

Going forward
If your child is no longer a believer, give him or her a new role to keep the excitement going. Suggest that he or she:

• Keep the story alive for younger siblings, friends, and classmates who still believe
• Help wrap presents or fill Easter baskets for younger brothers and sisters
• Pick out a special gift to donate to Toys for Tots or some other holiday drive so that a child in need can experience the joys of a visit from Santa

Still undecided?
If you still aren't sure what you want your child to believe, consider an option that works for some families. Play the "Santa game," the "Easter Bunny game," or the "Tooth Fairy game" with your child. He or she can join in the fun and fantasy, but still know that the game is "make believe."