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The grandchild-grandparent bond

Children who have strong relationships with grandparents tend to do better in school, have a stronger sense of family and feel more comfortable with older people than those who don't. © iStockphoto.com/Tammy Bryngelson Children who have strong relationships with grandparents tend to do better in school, have a stronger sense of family and feel more comfortable with older people than those who don't. © iStockphoto.com/Tammy Bryngelson

By Diane Griffith, Staff Writer, myOptumHealth

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Whether they live a mile apart or are separated by several states, there is a special bond between grandparents and grandchildren. Grandparents give children unconditional love. In return, they get back what they give - and more - including healthier, happier and more active lives.

A grandparent's love makes children feel safe and secure. In fact, studies show that when grandparents care for grandkids, those children are less likely to be injured than if they were in the care of another non-parent. Along with providing safety, grandparents help kids develop trust and independence. They also help children build self-esteem, take initiative and feel that they are lovable and competent. Grandparents can enhance children's health physically, emotionally and spiritually. They can also help kids improve their developmental and learning skills.

Grandparents can teach children what they wouldn't learn anywhere else. Throughout their lives, children remember the skills, knowledge, values and attitudes that their grandparents pass down.

Children who have strong relationships with grandparents tend to do better in school, have a stronger sense of family and feel more comfortable with older people than those who don't. These children are also less likely to become involved with drugs or violence. There is also evidence that when parents divorce, children who have close relationships with grandparents fare better than those who don't.

Long-distance grandparenting

How do you keep the ties strong when grandparents don't live nearby? Here are some tips:

  • Send grandparents e-mails, pictures and videos of your child regularly.
  • Have the grandparent read and record a children's book for your child, then play it at bedtime.
  • Have your child draw pictures or write letters once a week and send them to the grandparents.
  • Have photographs around the house of the grandparents and show them to your child frequently.
  • Have your child and the grandparents telephone each other regularly.
  • Visit grandparents on holidays or special occasions.

Nearby grandparenting

If grandparents live nearby, here are some ways to strengthen the relationship:

  • Arrange dinners, picnics and barbecues with grandparents.
  • Ask grandparents if they'd like to volunteer in your child's classroom.
  • Invite grandparents to your child's sporting events and activities.
  • Encourage grandparents to spend time alone with each child.
  • Ask a grandparent to teach your child a favorite hobby.

Playing with grandchildren

Grandparents sometimes wonder how to entertain their grandkids. The truth is, very young children really don't need to be entertained. In fact, they are usually the ones to provide the entertainment. They make up games and imaginary situations and ask only that grandparents play along.

Grandparents can connect with their grandchildren by:

  • Showering them with affection. To reach their full cognitive, emotional and social potential, children need to feel special.
  • Listening. A troubled child may need to confide in a grandparent.
  • Making them feel valued. By giving comfort, a grandparent makes a child feel safe, secure and lovable.
  • Offering them undivided attention.
  • Sharing traditions. Showing children their roots gives them a sense of unity and belonging.

Keeping active
Grandparents don't need to run marathons to keep up with their grandchildren. They should choose physical activities that match their strength and stamina levels. When children visit, grandparents can take them on walks and show them the neighborhood. If kids find walking interesting, they may continue the habit throughout their lives.

No matter what they do together, grandchildren and grandparents can enjoy a special gift - the chance to play, pretend and laugh together as the bonds grow stronger.

View the original The grandchild-grandparent bond article on myOptumHealth.com 

SOURCES:

  • Ohio State University Extension. Benefits of grandparenting. Accessed: 09/11/2009
  • University of Southern California. Longitudinal study of generations. A grandparent's positive influence. Accessed: 09/11/2009
  • Consumer Product Safety Commission. A grandparents' guide for family nurturing and safety. Accessed: 01/17/2008
  • MD Consult. Toddlers are less likely to sustain serious injuries when caregivers are grandparents. Accessed: 09/11/2009

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