The old nursery rhyme says that girls are made of “sugar and spice and everything nice,” while boys are made of “snakes and snails and puppy dog tails.” But are boys really tougher to raise? Katie, Jack, Patrick and Kevin are four siblings; three of them are boys.

“It's constant ball throwing and bouncing and Mom, can I do this? and Mom can I do that?” says Megan Kelley, the siblings' mother.

Are sons harder on moms than daughters? According to a new study in the Journal of Clinical Nursing, the answer is yes. Researchers asked moms about their physical, emotional and social well-being. Results show that 70 percent of the mothers of boys reported lower scores than mothers who had a girl. Experts say the problem starts in the womb. 

“First of all … male fetuses are born at a heavier birth weight, and they take longer to gestate -- which is a longer duration of the pregnancy. Also, the male fetus puts out testosterone which may inhibit the mom’s immune system,” says Steven A. Rabin, obstetrician-gynecologist (OB/GYN).

But experienced moms and sons say the real explanation is much simpler.

“They're much messier than I am,” says sister Katie.

“We play rough games a lot and we peg each other with balls. When [Mom] says stop we just secretly throw balls at each other,” says Kevin.

But if boys are tougher on moms, does that mean girls improve their mom’s quality of life? This daughter says yes.

“Because if she took care of us we should take care of her,” says Katie.

Researchers also found that mothers have higher rates of post-partum depression after having a boy.


Tips for Parents:

• In terms of emotional maturity, boys typically develop more slowly than girls do. Ask your teenage son how he feels about a major incident in his life, and he may honestly say, "I don't know." Before reaching adolescence, though, he may learn to hide his feelings and express himself physically rather than verbally. Low self-esteem can reinforce this tendency and make it hard to change. (Health Forums)
• Improving a boy's self-esteem can help him become an adult who expresses his feelings appropriately, treats women and others fairly, and resolves conflict peacefully. (Health Forums)
• As a parent, you are your son's most important teacher. If he sees you build competent and compassionate relationships, he's more likely to do so. Avoid arguments and aggressive behavior. Model respect for others, openness about your feelings and fairness in conflict. Boys are not born sullen, silent or aggressive. Those qualities are first learned at home. (Health Forums)
• When you discipline your son, focus on actions. Tell him what kinds of behavior you will allow and which you will not. This is easier for your child to understand, and it protects his self-esteem. (Health Forums)
• Get to know your son's interests even if they are different from your own. If your son is a musician and you're an athlete, don't condemn his interest just because you may not be as musically inclined. Also, don't force your child to follow interests that you consider as important. Allow your son to thrive with his own abilities, and encourage his individual pursuits. (Health Forums)
• When you openly express your affection for your son, you teach him that it's okay for him to be tender. When a dad hugs his son, he demonstrates that "real men" express affection. (Health Forums)
• Your son deserves affection simply for being present in your life. Do not base your love on his grades, his athletic ability or any of his other accomplishments. Your unconditional love frees him to accomplish the most in life. (Health Forums)

References:

• Health Forums

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